- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
τα καλύτερα έρχονται
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
- Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
- Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
- Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
- Witness: "Not yet."
- Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
- Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
- Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
- Witness: "Oral."
- Lawyer: "How old are you?"
- Witness: "Oral."
- Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
- Witness: "I could see his head."
- Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
- Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
- Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
- Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
- Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
- Witness: "That's me."
- Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
- Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
- Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
- Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
- Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
- Witness: "None."
- Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
- Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
- Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
- Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
- Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"
- Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
- Witness: "Yes sir."
- Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
- Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"
Και μια καλή σκηνή για το τέλος, που δείχνει ότι αν είναι χαζός και ο μάρτυρας, τότε μπορεί να βγει μια πολύ καλή κωμική σκηνή!
- Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
- Witness: "Borofkin."
- Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
- Witness: "I can't remember."
- Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
- Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
- Lawyer: "Are you married?"
- Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
- Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
- Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."
- Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
- Witness: "The victim lived."
και το BEST OF THE BEST
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
- Witness: "No."
via (Things people said)
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Remember, you are under oath!!!
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